Rollercoaster

I think we all need to embrace the rollercoaster a little more.

The high highs and the low lows.

Allowing ourselves to feel all that is meant to be felt.

When we shut out one type of emotion, what many of us don’t realise is, we are shutting out all emotions.

For so many years I tried to avoid feeling, I didn’t feel safe to express my feelings, my thoughts and what I was struggling with.  I thought there was something wrong with me.  I questioned my worth.  I felt so alone.  It made me more stressed, more anxious, more unhappy.

I spent so much time trying to run from my emotions thinking it would make things easier, but what I have realised is it makes things so much heavier.

Today, as I make my way back out of a dark week, I am reminding myself, and you reading this, to cut yourself some slack.  To be more patient with yourself as you navigate this life.  To give yourself permission to be down, because without down, we don’t have up.

You aren’t a failure if your hormones knock you on your ar$e for a week and your normal routine goes out the window.

LIFE HAPPENS and I am here to remind you that it is OKAY.

Let go of the expectations and pressure that you need to be 100% all of the time.

Take imperfect action.

Stop running away from the hard feelings, the ones that make you uncomfortable.

What is available to everyone else, is also available to you.

You get to choose.

You aren’t stuck.

Be true to yourself.

You might feel like you are too much, like I did for so so so long.

But when you start being authentic and vulnerable and stop hiding, you will discover that to the right people, you are never too much.

Yes, you will lose people in the process.  That will hurt so deeply you don’t know if you can recover.  But there is also a sense of peace, of knowing you are being true to yourself.

I was that girl, the one that tried to meet society’s expectations, my parent’s expectations, everyone else’s expectations, until I reached breaking point, and it was either break away from the belief that I needed to meet them and it is okay to not live a ‘textbook life’, or leave this world.

I am that girl that is now living a life that I never thought was possible for me, that is, until the day I DID think maybe it was possible.

I decided I didn’t want to just settle, I didn’t want to let my anxiety and my fear and my lack of self confidence dictate my choices, my career, my relationships, my beliefs, and my thoughts.

I started opening my eyes, and opening my mind, to the greater potential, the endless possibilities.

I let myself dream.

I reached out for help.

I asked professionals for support and guidance.

Naturopaths, psychologists, personal trainers, life coaches.

I read books, I studied, I journalled.

I started letting myself see that the “bad” experiences that I have gone through were actually a gift.  I changed them from a negative and a “poor me” story to saying thank you.  Thank you for bringing me to this space right now.  Thank you for the lessons.  Thank you for hurting me so I could embody this passion for helping other women stand up to their true essence.  What do you have now that you wouldn’t have had if you didn’t go through all of that?

Right now, if you don’t know me, maybe it sounds like it has been easy for me, or quick.

But it has been YEARS.  Of one epic rollercoaster ride.  Of highs, survival mode and devastatingly low lows.

I am healing.

I am beautifully brave.

Because I flipped my entire world upside down, I shattered every part of my being, I didn’t think I could do it, and survive, but here I am 6 months later.

The most epic rollercoaster I will ever ride.

Take a deep breath, hold on, and trust that if you go with it, that it is leading you to the most magical feelings and experiences.

Let go of the control and trust that the Universe is guiding you to exactly where you are meant to be.

Amanda xx 

 

 

 

Are you ready to flourish?

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